That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
