He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
