This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
