Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
