White coat. Heels.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
