the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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