she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
