Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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