margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Terrible idea I love it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
