Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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