Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
