One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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