Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
