Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
