Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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