I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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