i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
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in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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