please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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