eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
