you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
