I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
