I just saw a hot homeless man
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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