i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
