i just had sex bonerless
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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