singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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