So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
