It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
