the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
