walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
