I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
did i just pee glitter
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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