I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
