So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
