just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
