I have demons in me.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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