that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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