We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
