You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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