You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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