that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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