Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
