You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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