..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Define "chronic" masturbator.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
