I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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