How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
