dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
