Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
