is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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