You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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