you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize