After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
