Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I stole a fireplace last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
