Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
