She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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