She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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