you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
