so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
