If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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