it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
