R you on birth control?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
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It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Actions speak louder than pants.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
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There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way