I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Found your dick twin last night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot