Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.