So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
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New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.