I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories