letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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